FEAR
Who am I supposed to be?
Where am I supposed to go?
Why am I walking this lonely road?
Why did it just get dark?
Where did the light go?
How am I supposed to know?
When I get older I’ll run it all.
When I get older I wanna be the one they call.
When I get older I wanna be the one that passes the ball.
When I get older I won’t have to face the fall.
When I get older I won’t always have to stand tall.
But when I get older, who am I gonna call?
A Voice sings “Its just one more mile away”
Milestones, proven thrones, imposter syndrome
Truth been gone, dry phones, personal fall of Rome.
Starved to the bone, walk back home, right proven wrong
Done bent over backwards, fell forward, shits not over
Here we go again, play to win, spin the wheel of fate
Contemplate, pupils dilate, sleeplessness enters late
How?
How am?
How am I?
How am I gonna?
How am I gonna see?
How am I gonna see this?
I'm through!
Can’t you see it breaking me down.
Kneeling to accept a crown.
Peeling back layers of myself I kept in isolation.
Desperation inflicting wounds on my psyche.
Wondering why the kids say they wanna be just like me.
In pursuit of greatness, what have I given up-
accepting the worthiness of love
In pursuit of finding me, what have I given up-
accepting the worthiness of love
In pursuit of pursuing dreams, what have I given up-
accepting the worthiness of love
In pursuit of fighting fear, what have I given up-
accepting the worthiness of love.
Fearing the one thing I want to touch.
If I could paint fear, love would be my brush.
And if I touch that brush the rush would be too much.
I fear heartbreak
I fear life’s stakes
I fear starting late
Fear of abandonment had me abandon all that life is
I fear the closest touch
I fear being enough
I fear the acceptance of my flood.
That Voice sings “Just one more mile to go”
I fear holding on to hope
I fear the cord joking and laughing with a “nope”
I fear the fear that fears the reason for silent tears
I fear the insane thoughts that I once believed you were near.
I fear that brush trying to paint me in a box I didn’t create
I fear the lost of control of my steps, making me go sideways
I fear the idea of “I already know how this story goes.”
So fear made me worry, hoping that this time I'm proven wrong.
Then I fear I was wrong all along.
So now I'm laying face first on this dirt.
Wondering why I hurt, I thought I’ve done the work
A Voice commands “Breathe”
Who gave fear the right to define me?
“Breathe”
Who told fear not to stand behind me?
“Breathe”
Who told fear it could blind me from the blessing of seeing trees?
“Breathe”
Who told fear I wasn’t allowed to be mad? defiance calls so I seethe!
“Breathe”
Who told fear to lie to me and said love wasn’t a gift I could open?
“Breathe”
Who told fear I couldn’t let hope in?
“Breathe”
Who told fear my life would be on my knees?
“Breathe”
Who told fear I wouldn’t stand on my feet?
“Breathe”
Who told fear I wouldn’t put back on the boxing gloves?
“Breathe”
Who told fear I wouldn’t whoop that ass so we can see who's really tough?
“Breathe homie, breathe”
